obi cubana
Fiction, Humour

See what Obi Cubana did with two ladies at his mother’s burial at Oba, Anambra

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Ada and Ijeoma went to Oba, a community in Anambra state to attend the funeral ceremony of the mother of Obi Cubana, a businessman, philanthropist and the owner of the popular Cubana nightclubs and hotels.

Ijeoma and Ada alighted from the bus and climbed the bike they had paid to take them to the burial venue.

Oba town was buzzing with vehicular and human traffic.

Exotic cars with multimillionaires and billionaires inside were arriving every minute.

Many socialites and top personalities in the entertainment sector trooped in every moment.

Obi Cubana don try, him carry the whole Nigeria come him village for him mama burial,” The bike man said to the girls.

“I am so excited, we’re gonna make some money here today!” Ada exclaimed.

“Yes babe, our fortunes can turn around today if we can hook up with some rich guys” Ijeoma replied.

“I pray it doesn’t rain today,” Ada said, gazing at the sky.

“Rain no fit fall today, Obi Cubana don settle all di rainmakers for dis state” The okada man informed.

The two ladies sat in silence on the bike, reflecting on their journey from Lagos to Anambra.

They term themselves as hustlers. They attend events where the presence of moneybags are guaranteed to make connections, seduce the rich men and get cash from them.

Residents of Lagos, they travel around the country in search of rich clients. They had gotten information about the funeral from the Instagram page of Obi Cubana the previous week.

The bike man rode along the untarred red earthen road that led to the burial ceremony grounds.

Thousands of cars were packed on either side of the road making movement difficult.

There was no longer space to move and the bike stopped.

The ladies alighted and paid the bike man who in his haste to rush off to pick other passengers snatched the money from their hands and sped off.

The crowd milled around the burial grounds as a popular highlife band, The Peacocks International band performed on stage.

Ada and Ijeoma were stunned by the size of the crowd and the luxury on display, the colourful attires, the personalities in attendance, the luxury cars, the money sprayed.

“This is not a burial, this is a carnival!” Ada Exclaimed.

“I swear! Money is good!” Ijeoma declared.

They started wriggling and pushing their way through the crowd to get to the point where the big wigs were seated.

“Why una dey push me? Wey una wan go?” An elderly woman with wrinkles on her face questioned loudly.

The two girls kept pushing through without saying a word.

“God punish una! Na here una wan find husband, you tink say husband dey here?”

The girls moved on without replying to the infuriated woman who muttered some curse words in Igbo.

“Look! That’s Zubby Michael, the actor spraying money!” Ada pointed excitedly to a place where a bare-chested young man was flinging some Naira notes into a section of the crowd.

Ijeoma exclaimed, “Let’s go there!”

They manoeuvred their way into the section of the crowd and began picking the notes on the floor into the big nylon bag they had brought along with them.

The atmosphere became charged as the highlife band played like possessed men, plucking their guitar strings and hitting the drums with reckless abandon.

Several moneybags were up on their feet, throwing wads of minted naira notes in the air as the crowd milled around them fighting off the moves of their bodyguards. Jowizaza, the young billionaire, was causing a big stir with his spraying of dollar notes.

Ada and Ijeoma picked as many notes as they could reach. The burial ceremony was proving to be very profitable for them.

“How are you girls doing? I hope you are having a good time here?” A man dressed in a white outfit and holding a glass of wine addressed them.

The ladies immediately recognized him

“Omg! Obi Cubana!” They exclaimed simultaneously.

He sprayed thousands of naira notes on them, laughing and making funny faces at them before he was whisked away by his bodyguards.

“Omg! This burial is the best burial ever!!” Ada shouted

“Yesss! I love Obi Cubana!” Ijeoma announced

They suddenly stopped dancing and pounced on a middle-aged man who had taken hold of their money filled nylon bag and was about to disappear with it.

Iniobong Leroi Umoh is a storyteller, a satirist and creative writer. He blurs the line between reality and fiction and seeks to create a connection with the reader through engaging content. His works have been featured across various online and offline platforms. He hopes to one day travel around the world on a luxury yacht, sipping expensive wine and documenting all his experiences in a journal. You can send him a mail at infoleric@gmail.com.

4 Replies to See what Obi Cubana did with two ladies at his mother’s burial at Oba, Anambra

  1. i love it….so funny…I’ve finally found your blog….yahh!!

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