Last night, I was strolling along a street in Ewet Housing Estate, Uyo when a man wearing a long flowing white robe called out to me.
“Excuse me, bro”
Normally, I wouldn’t have turned around but there was a certain urgency in his voice that made me stop.
“Sorry for bothering you but I have an important message for you,” He said.
“Okay,” I replied with a puzzled look, standing at a safe distance from him.
“I want to tell you that you narrowly missed meeting your destiny helper on Saturday 26th February 2022”
My eyes widened, “I don’t understand…who are you?” I inquired.
“I am a divine messenger,” he replied and continued, “On that day, you missed the chance to meet with a man who was sent by God to change your life forever!”
My heart skipped a beat and I drew closer to him, “How? Where? Why?” I questioned.
“Where were you on 26th February by 6 pm?” He interrogated.
“I was at the Uyo Book Club February reading session” I stated.
“Okay, but didn’t you feel some kind of restlessness at the time? Didn’t you feel a certain urge of getting up and leaving the hall and boarding the next available vehicle to Ibom Plaza?”
“I, er…I don’t know, but come to think of it, I think I feel something like that!” I replied with my mind racing.
“That was your instinct telling you to leave! But you ignored it!” He said with a frown.
“Can I turn back the hands of time? Please what can I do to bring him back?” I questioned.
He quickly cut in, “If you had left that place and taken a bus to Ibom plaza, you would have alighted at Aka road. You would have then strolled towards Oron road”
“You would have walked past Royal line phone shop. In front of that shop, you would have seen a man on a dark French suit, standing beside his car, a grey coloured Range Rover, with a confused look on his face!”
“Wow! How do you know all of these?” I asked in awe.
“I told you that I am a messenger” He replied in a solemn tone and continued, “He would have beckoned on you and you would have stopped and approached him. He would have asked you to tell him the best phone to buy for his 19-year-old daughter”
“Yes, you would have suggested three phone brands to him”.
“This is amazing”
“He would have requested you to follow him inside the shop to buy the phone. You would have followed him and after 15 minutes of checking out different brands, he would have bought the phone for N150,000. Then outside, he would have asked you for your phone number and promise to keep in touch with you”
“This is wow!”
“By 8pm, that night, he would have called you to thank you for your help that day, then he would have asked you what you do for a living and how he could be of help to you”
“Omg! See what I missed!” I exclaimed with my hands on my head.
“You would have told him what you need and then he would have asked for your account number. You would have texted him your account number and he would have sent you a minimum of N20 million Naira!”
“Wtf! Are you kidding me?” I shouted.
“No, I am very serious, remember I am a divine messenger,” He stated in the same solemn voice and continued, “You would then call him to thank him!”
“Wait, what is his phone number? If you are who you say you are, you would know his phone number. Give it to me now!” I demanded.
“Calm down, this is his phone number: 08068178361” The man called out.
I quickly dialled the number.
A phone in the man’s pocket rang out loud.
He quickly brought out the phone, “I am your destiny helper!” He declared.
I stood speechless, mouth agape.
“I am the one sent by God to turn your life around but for this to happen, you must send me the sum of N5000 for activation of the destiny helping stage.”
I stared at him and found myself staring into the cold and ruthless eyes of a conman.
“I blame myself for standing here to listen to you! If you wanted money, you would have simply asked for it. This format is not working!” I exclaimed in disgust and stomped away in righteous indignation.
Kai! The country is hard, every man with his scam.
Oh God send my real destiny helper my way today!