the real woodpeckers
Lifestyle, Short stories

Do you know the real woodpeckers?

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..Tap…tap…
The persistent sound in the room filtered into my ears.
I slowly opened my eyes.
The door of my house was ajar.
I saw a bird pecking away at my table.
I jumped out of the bed in shock and stared at the creature.
…Tap…tap…
The bird continued pecking at my table.
“Get out! How did you get in here?” I shouted.
The bird cast a beady eye
đź‘€
at me and said, “I flew in through your open door and decided to help you amend the shape of your table”
I was stunned! A talking bird in my house! What other surprise does 2020 have in store for me?
Speechless, I observed the work the bird was doing.
It was carving out a curved shape along the edge of the table.
The curved angle was very sharp and gave the table a new attractive look.
“Wow! This is beautiful!” I exclaimed in admiration.
“Thank you, this is what we do!” It replied.
“You know, I have some piece of wood somewhere at the backyard. Can you help me make a kitchen stool out of it?” I inquired as I made a move towards the back door”
The bird shook its head, “No! You have to pay for that!”
“How? Where?” I asked.
“Follow me!” The bird directed as it flapped its wings and flew out of the room.
I ran after it, closing my door.
The bird flew ahead of me and I kept jogging towards it along the streets of Uyo…
As we approached No 14 Wellington Bassey Way, the bird flew into the compound and disappeared.
I ran into the compound and met Ntefon Moses Akpan tending to some furniture.
“Hello bro, are you looking for someone?” he asked.
“Yes, I am looking for a woodpecker bird, it flew into this place”
“You have come to the right place, we are the real woodpeckers! We specialize in all kinds of furniture for homes, offices, schools, churches, etc. We give you the best quality furnishing!”
“Okay, I need some stools”
“How many stools? 200? 500? 1000? Just let me know, we will deliver”
“Okay, I need 5 million stools!” I announced.
The bird suddenly appeared and exclaimed, “5 million stools? Are you normalllll?”
The REAL Woodpeckers…Nobody pecks it better!
the real woodpeckers
the real woodpeckers
the real woodpeckers
the real woodpeckers

Iniobong Leroi Umoh is a storyteller, a satirist and creative writer. He blurs the line between reality and fiction and seeks to create a connection with the reader through engaging content. His works have been featured across various online and offline platforms. He hopes to one day travel around the world on a luxury yacht, sipping expensive wine and documenting all his experiences in a journal. You can send him a mail at infoleric@gmail.com.

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