Umqombothi

I am travelling back in time with my time machine. The year is 1989. I and my friends are travelling to South Africa to demand the release of Nelson Mandela from Robben Island prison. All 3,300 of us are aboard a flight from Lagos to Pretoria. “Stop apartheid! Bring back Nelson Mandela!” We scream as we protest with our banners at the airport. But the apartheid regime of F. W. DeKlerk would have none of this. Whoom! The military men bundle us from the capital city and dump us at an airfield in Soweto. We sit on the grassy field feeling sad and looking gloomy. “Welcome to Soweto!” African songstress Yvonne Chaka Chaka says with a bright smile to us. She is approaching us from a house nearby. We maDlamini Uph’umqombothi! What is that? Yvonne is accompanied by many maidens and young men. They are holding big jugs filled with a liquid substance. …I work hard every day to make my beer Umqombothi! Wake up early every morning to please my people with African beer…umqombothi! My special beer, Umqombothi It’s African beer!. Yvonne is singing to us as she and her attendants distribute glass cups to us and start pouring the drink into our cups. “Everybody come and drink my magic beer Everybody come and drink my African beer”   We begin sipping from the cups. “This tastes like fermented maize…I am a teetotaler, I don’t drink alcohol…it is very tasty…please pour more for me…” We chatter excitedly as we drink from the cups. In a short while, everybody is devouring the beer with relish. Yvonne is smiling and singing, urging us to drink more. We join her in singing. “I wanna make you happy, I wanna make you smile Wanna make you dance…dance! We maDlamini Everybody Uph’umqombothi Come and drink We maDlamini magic beer Uph’Umqombothi!”   The containers and jugs are empty, we have drunk every single drop. Thank you, everybody, for drinking my magic beer. I hope you all like it. Goodbye!” Yvonne says to us as she and her attendants start collecting the cups from us and packing up. “No! We will not take it” We protest as we all get up on our feet. “We want more umqombothi! We want more umqombothi We want more umqombothi!” We all chant angrily as Yvonne Chaka and her attendants walk away to the house. A pretty lady dashes out from the house to pacify us. “Hello everybody, I am Brenda Fassie, please calm down. Yvonne is bringing more umqombothi for you all. In the meantime, let me sing for you, let me entertain you. I am a singer.” We are temporarily pacified by the young lady. We sit down and listen to her. “Vul’indlela we mamgobhozi Vul’indlela yekela umonza Kodwa wena maNgobeza Hey unomona Ngoba awunan yana Unebtombizazodwa Ayogoyo mangobese…”   We tap our feet and nod our heads to the melodious tune. In a short while, we are all on our feet, dancing with Brenda… “Everybody stop!” Yvonne Chaka shouts as she surfaces with big containers and jugs. “Yessss! Umqombothi!” We scream with delight and sit down in readiness for a new round of drinking. “I make sure there is a party Where they drink my special beer Umqombothi is magic beer! Umqombothi is African beer!” …Gulp…gulp…gulp… The beer travels down our oesophagus in quick succession as we drink, dance and sing along with Yvonne. “I wanna make you happy I wanna make you smile Let’s boogie together!” Time to go home! We board the plane and fly back home. Everybody is saturated with the beer. The whole aircraft is rowdy as everybody is singing and clapping. “We ma Dlamini up’umqombothi Umqombothi! Everybody come and drink my magic beer!”   The pilot who has drunk umqombothi to his fill suddenly removes his hands from the controls. He stands up and starts dancing. The plane loses bearing and is nose-diving….   We are paying no attention to the falling plane as we are all clapping and chanting… “Umqombothi! Umqombothi!” Booooom! The plane plunges into the ocean and disappears into the murky waters. The last sound that can be heard is the clapping of hands we sink while still chanting… “Umqombothi!” I wake up with a jerk from the dream. I get on the phone and call my South African friend to send me some Umqombothi.